question for a-parents and adoptees

August 19, 2013 § 16 Comments

I read sometimes about the “adoption file” and I’m wondering what this consists of. What kind of information is in there?

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§ 16 Responses to question for a-parents and adoptees

  • Rain says:

    I’m not sure what context you read about “adoption files”, so it could be a number of things. Could you clarify? Are you thinking about AP information on file with agency/attorney? Or is this what information Adult Adoptees may be able to access? Or something else?

    • The adoption paperwork, birth mother medical stuff, non-identifying information, I’m assuming given to the parents upon finalization. I’m curious how personal the information is. I guess there is no way to know for sure.

  • monk-monk says:

    I have no idea what’s in my ‘file’ because I’m not allowed to access it without my aparents permission (lame, I know, I’m freaking 30). But I think it’s all the paperwork from the adoption, but what do I know? :)

  • Kris says:

    Our file gave limited information about the mother. It gave her age and how many children she had. No personal health information or any information whatsoever about the father. Interestingly, it did include something she had to sign so we had her name. It gave the village in which she lived. It gave mostly facts about the birth (birth order, birth weight, health of infant). It gave the circumstances around her “surrender”. Of course, this was a Russian adoption and I didn’t know whether to believe all of it, some of it or none of it. We had enough information to search for her mother and found her through a Russian searcher. I held back some of the information from the searcher to see if info we had matched with what he found. (I didn’t fully trust either our info or the searcher but had more faith in the searcher.) In the end, he did find her mother. The facts we had, though scarce, were accurate. I found it interesting that they told us we were “not allowed” to search, but then gave us enough information to find the mother. This is true in most if not all Russian adoptions. It is relatively easy to find the birth family.

    But I am sure this is not what you wanted to know since your son’s adoption is a domestic one? I don’t think they can give out your personal medical information without your permission. I don’t know how adoption law works but I am a nurse and there are pretty strict laws about sharing medical information. We cannot share medical information with anyone the patient has not indicated on HIPPA. I don’t know if that is what you are asking?

  • Rain says:

    We got no information (from the agency) after Cadet’s adoption. However, beforehand, we got quite a bit. There was a complete medical history that MsJ had filled out and signed a release for us to see. This included her other children/pregnancies, her medical history, what she knew of the birth father’s medical/social history, the medical history of her immediate family members, and any known (serious) medical conditions that she was aware of in her extended family. We also got her social history (again, released to us) which outlined her childhood, relationships with her family, previous relationships, job history, and an explanation on why she was placing Cadet for adoption. Almost all of the personal information was redacted (address, phone number, last name, and so on…).

    The adoption file that I’m aware of, exists at the attorney’s office that we used. It contains all the information we submitted: home study, financial documents, and our profile. It also has all of MsJ’s information. I think also has copies of Cadet’s medical documents from when he was in NICU.

    I hope this was helpful!

    • Yes it was, thank you. Also confirmed what I was afraid of.

      • Rain says:

        May I ask what were you afraid of??

      • It’s shattering to know that the reasons are part of his adoption paperwork that he’ll probably see someday. I’ve worried about that for a long time. I didn’t know that would be included, or I would’ve tried to sound like less of an asshole. Whatever, it’s out of my control now.

        At least I didn’t say anything about it being too late to have an abortion. I don’t think that’s relevant or appropriate at any age.

      • 4evrmama says:

        We adopted through fostercare, so there are a lot of legal paperwork in there as well. It lists all of the social worker visits and notes before the baby was removed from her care, some of the social writeup about other possible family members who were considered for custody, the mental health diagnosis (required per the child-services plan). It even listed the names of several potential bio-fathers that they attempted to contact. Those were not redacted for some reason. We even had a copy of the original birth certificate with the birth mother’s name redacted. The file included some pretty graphic descriptions that I really don’t want my daughter to see but will probably eventually as it is part of her history.

        I have maintained contact with the birth mother and have a box with every letter and picture she has ever sent. Hopefully my daughter can get a better picture of her birth mother outside of reading case worker notes.

        I don’t see anything wrong with what you listed as “reasons.” If you were ambivilent (and your agency was good), the adoption might not have gone through.

  • JessLif says:

    I just wanted to add in to the voices of adoptive parents. While we discussed reasons with the birthparents when we met them, there was no information in our file where they had written down the reasons they were considering adoption. As an adoptive parent, I know that the reasons will one day be a part of the discussion that our daughter has with both us and with her first parents, but I know that they are not a part of the file that we were given with the paperwork included. I don’t know if this helps, but I just wanted to add our experience.

    • Yes, I would hope that his parents handle that question however they would think best, hopefully in a kind way. I don’t know why my scared ramblings, mere weeks after finding out I was 6 months pregnant, have to be a part of it.

  • teresa says:

    We received birth mother’s medical history and info on previous births, it looks like a form that is used throughout our state. No info regarding the reasons she chose to place.

  • Robyn C says:

    For DS’s adoption, we were given the application that S filled out. It included social and medical histories, as well as “getting to know you” information about S. It did include the reasons she was placing him for adoption. I actually copied that part and put it in his baby books, because it was, well, kind of sweet. When DS was discharged from the hospital, we got pages and pages of medical information about S. I’m not sure we were supposed to get everything we got. The facilitator was totally not involved at that point, there was no social worker, so I imagine the lawyer just directed the hospital to give us everything, and they did.

    For DD’s adoption, we also got the application that Laine filled out. It didn’t have anything about reasons on it. It was almost entirely a social and medical history. When we left the hospital with DD, all we got was one page, which basically confirmed that she was born healthy.

    I think “adoption file” and what the a-parents get of it depends on the “professionals” with whom they’re working.

  • dmdezigns says:

    Before we were matched, we got the medical history document and application information that LO’s first mom had filled out, redacted for last name and address. It did include their dates of birth. I think it did include why and what they were looking for in an adoptive family. After the birth, we received LO’s birth and hospital records, again redacted for last name and address. So, I would say it depends some on the agency and what is on their form. In our case, they give the form that emoms fill out. Now, in addition, we have a file I’m keeping with sibling names, the first parents last names (they’ve shared them with us), everything I’ve found by googling them (including arrest records, not for judgement but to help her understand the chaos they are currently living in), basically anything I can find that is factual, along with my written rememberances of our time together. I want her to have when she’s old enough whatever she wants. I regret that we weren’t able to get the OBC. I just didn’t feel right asking her first mom to go get it for her to have later. I want LO to be able to have compassion for what they are going through now and to realize their decision didn’t have anything to do with negative feelings about her but more concern for her welfare. I want her to hopefully understand how complicated a decision this was for them. I want her to be able to give them a chance to know her if she and they want that. So I have my own “adoption file” that I’m keeping to hopefully, when she’s older help her understand.

  • Db says:

    Wow, you get a lot of APs here. I am an adoptee. The adoption file usually refers to whatever is in the courthouse or DSS which would include the OBC and adoption decree. I am not privy to any of this info as I am in a closed record state. And Utah, forget about that ever happening. There is a reason your PAPs come all the way to Utah to get a baby. Any other info given to APs by the agency/lawyer varies as this is an unregulated industry and once that baby is sold they really don’t gaf and no, they do not care about keeping your info private. If it makes you feel better your reasons for adopting out are largely irrelevant to the adoptee. You were gone; that’s it. They may want to meet you and have a relationship as adults, like I did. I wish your kid could have an open adoption so he would know you growing up. Anyway, I am sorry Somebody didn’t help you avoid this mess. I’m kind of mad at your mother. She shoulda stopped you.

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